


Letters to the Editor

by Immortalginger



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Actual real life letter writing, Angst, Beware, Humor, Loki stuck on Asgard, Meddling mothers, More angst, Odins A+ Parenting, Wow, mentions of child abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-28
Updated: 2014-12-28
Packaged: 2018-03-03 23:07:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2891483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Immortalginger/pseuds/Immortalginger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony is bored as hell sitting around. He finds that since New York has been busy rebuilding he hasn't had much to do. No one has really had time to break enough laws to call the avengers in and Nick Fury won't listen to his whining. Last he heard Loki was stuck in Asgardian prison. Tony figured Loki was bored to. One day he gets smashed and writes a letter. It leads to places he would never have expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Tony Being Tony

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys so this plot has been burning a hole in me and I just had to write it. Its a very typical plot that I'm hoping I will give a nice spin on. I hope you enjoy it please read. I will try and update. This is not a serious story. It is supposed to be humorous and kind of weird. I really hope you enjoy it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys so this plot has been burning a hole in me and I just had to write it. Its a very typical plot that I'm hoping I will give a nice spin on. I hope you enjoy it please read. I will try and update. This is not a serious story. It is supposed to be humorous and kind of weird. I really hope you enjoy it.

Tony was bored. No one would listen to him complain anymore and even JARVIS was getting on his nerves. "Hello this is Pepper Potts's voice mail. I will get back to you as soon as I can. Leave your message after the beep." *BEEEP* Tony groaned loudly. "PEEEPPPPPERRRRR!" He whined, "I'm so bored. What are you doing?" The glass of scotch he was holding sloshed around. "New York can spare you a few minutes can't it?" He asked. He hung up and was about to call again when he dropped his drink.

 

"Dammit." He muttered looking down at his now wet and smelly shirt. He quickly changed and punched in another number into his cell.

 

"Hello?" The person on the other end answered.

 

"Fury." Tony slurred.

 

 "Stark this had better be important." Fury growled.

 

"It is." Tony said firmly. He stopped for a second for effect. He heard Fury growl menacingly.

 

"Well, What is it?" Fury asked annoyed.

 

"I'm soooo bored." Tony whined.

 

 "Fuck off Stark. I am busy rebuilding. Which you should be doing. Just go play with robots." Fury commanded then hung up. Tony laughed. He loved pissing off the one eyed man. He threw his phone against the wall figuring if it broke he could fix it. It didn't break.

 

Tony growled in frustration and left it there. He walked back over to his bar and got another drink. He was about to pour himself another glass when he thought, why not just drink the whole bottle? Feeling sound in his idea he unscrewed the lid and took a huge swig. Immediately coughing. Okay a full gulp of 18 year old scotch not a good idea, but he was still determined to drink the whole bottle.

 

He was two thirds of the way done with the bottle before his thoughts became complete crap. He looked up still feeling really bored when he got an idea. He was way too shitfaced to realize how ridiculous his idea was. He looked out across the broken city, his broken city and it strengthened his idea.

 

Three months ago a crazy god had come and nearly took over the world. Since they stopped him and Thor took him back to Asgard he had been in jail. Thor said that Assgardian jail was horribly boring. Nothing to do. Thor also said his brother was looking worse for wear and seemed horribly bored too.

 

 Tony practically ran to one of his offices and sat at the desk. He decided to do this before he sobered up so that he'd actually do it. He grabbed the closest pen he could find. He ignored the fact it took him three tries before he could actually grasp it. Then just as he was about to start writing he realized he needed a piece of paper. It took him a moment to figure out the drawer to his left opened outward but he grasped the paper quickly. Dropping the pen in the process he realized this was going to be a mess. Leaving the original pen on the floor he put the paper down and grabbed a different pen. Scrawling out his letter he quickly sobered up.

 

Once he was done he scanned it then it dawned on him that in his inebriated state he'd be no good at reading right now. Foregoing the proofreading he grabbed his phone and dialed Thor's number. A crack of thunder was the only warning Tony got before the blonde giant appeared. "How may I help you Man of Iron?" He asked. Well more announced but any time Thor talked it sounded like an important announcement.

 

 "Will you give this to Loki?" Tony asked. More slurred but the Avengers were all pretty fluent in drunk Tony so Thor understood what he said but not his motives.

 

"I do not understand?" Thor said taking the envelope from Tony.

 

 "Just do it. Plleeeeeeeease." Tony begged.

 

"Yes Man of Iron. I will do as you say and hand this mortal way of communication to my little brother." Thor promised. Tony smiled.

 

"Thanksssss buddy." He slurred.

 

He didn't realize Thor left until he woke up twelve hours later with the biggest hangover in history.

 

Loki hated his cell. Loki hated Asgard. He also hated that his father wouldn't even let him get a word in edgewise in his trial. It was HIS trial. He should've been allowed to say he was controlled by the chitauri and Thanos. He was pissed off at his father and that Thor wouldn't listen. He was having vague memories of what he'd done in New York. He cringed every time he thought of that accursed Bruce Banner. The green giant. He had nothing to do and it was irritating.

 

He couldn't use his magic except for putting a glamour around himself. The others around his cells were all brainless buffoons. He wondered how any of them could be enemies of Asgard with brains the size of peas.

 

 His brother visited every day and he hated that. He didn't hate it as much as he hated seeing the disappointment in Frigga's eyes. It wasn't his fault he was beaten to submission. He shuddered suppressing the memory that threatened to surface.

 

Just then his dreaded not-brother showed up. "Hello bro-"

 

"I'm not your brother." Loki interrupted.

 

"ther" Thor finished as though Loki hadn't just interrupted him like he did every time. "I have something for you." He held up his hand which held some sort of letter. Mortal communication? Thor put the letter through the slot that was usually used just for food. Loki took the letter his curiosity outweighing his hate for everything mortal. The writing on the envelope was basically scribbles. He couldn't even read it.

Dear ~~render , reindar ant, rinder atnl,~~ reindeer antlers,

Heyyyyyy. Its your ~~frend~~ friend Tony Stark. I’m a little tipsy ~~write~~ right now. I’m bored and I figured ~~your~~ you’re bored. Wait you know an idle mind is the Devil’s playground. Well, now I guess I’m letting ~~Santa~~ Satan ride my teeter totter. Whoa that sounded dirty. Well, you ~~no~~ know what i meant. Anyway I wanted to say heyy. And to ~~c~~ see how you were doing. You know are you still crazy.

Thor told us you used to be happy, well u used to be around him more. But I remembered he ~~sad~~ said you had green eyes. But I remember during the ~~envasion~~ invasion you had blue is eyes. Why?

Oh and you bastard through threw me out a window. Son of a ~~bich~~ bitch. Were we’re still rebuilding New York and no one’s talking to me. Robots only go so farrrr. I hope to here hear from you soon

~~Dam~~ Damn homophones,

Tony

A.K.A. The-Man-You-Threw-Out-His-Own-Window

 

The letter was scrawled crooked and very badly. Loki could hardly read the contents. That mortal dare insult him. He angrily grabbed a pencil and paper that had appeared. He was so angry that he didn’t question it. His calligraphy was much better than that intoxicated buffoons. He finished and crammed the letter through the slot towards Thor ignoring his not-brothers smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading. I hope you liked it. Please leave kudos if you want me to continue. I'm not entirely sure where I want this to go so it should be a fun ride.


	2. Loki's Response

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys so this is so much fun to write and I couldn't help but write another chapter. Next chapter is when I plan to write Loki some more. Please, please, please let me know what you think.

Tony woke up with a headache that would’ve rivaled Loki’s after he was slammed by the hulk. Wait, why was he thinking of Loki? Tony groaned loudly and then immediately regretted it. He was lying on one of the many couches in his home. He wasn’t sure what happened last night. “JARVIS?” Tony said quietly.

“Yes sir!” JARVIS said. It felt like his AI was ramming a railroad spike through his head.

“SHHHHH.” Tony ordered. “Now,” Tony said even quieter, “What happened last night?”

“Well, sir you drank almost a full bottle of scotch and then wrote a letter to Loki. Thor came and took it to him. Then you passed out on the couch.” Jarvis said. Tony swore he got louder. Even his damn robots had a smart ass demeanor.

Why the hell would he EVER think writing a letter to Loki was a good idea? LOKI! He groaned inwardly even his mind-yelling hurt. He got up and trudged over to a medicine cabinet. He had one in pretty much every room. Pepper always thought it was excessive but he didn’t. He downed four aspirin and briefly considered chasing them down with a gulp of tequila. He nixed that idea quickly. It was noon, early even by his standards.

He found himself bored yet again with nothing better than to binge watch the Batman movies. He wasn’t entirely sure why but he always felt a connection with Bruce Wayne. He was in the middle of the first movie when there was a huge crack of thunder and Thor appeared in front of him.

“MAN OF IRON!” He yelled. “I have arrived with a response.” He continued holding the piece of paper in his giant fist. Tony cringed at the sudden intrusion.

“Uh Thor buddy you know there is a such thing as a door.” He said.

“The swinging plank of wood?” Thor asked.

“Yes Thor.” Tony said patiently. Most were surprised to learn that as long as he was busy he was fairly good at being patient.

“That does not matter for my brother wrote you back.” Thor changed the conversation again. Tony sighed snatching the letter. He refused to admit his curiosity and amazement that the God Of Mischief had written back.

 

_Man of Iron,_

_How dare you insult me! Yes this prison is rather bland but unlike you I don’t tinker with toys. I am NOT going to sit back and let you insult me. What in the worlds made you think to mail me? Your pathetic modes of communication continue to annoy me. As well as your pathetic drunken ramblings._

_I am not, nor will I ever be your friend. I am not answering your questions for any reason other than you pissed me off. I am not, nor was I EVER crazy. Your incompetence continues to disappoint me but I was slightly intrigued. Yes, I do have green eyes and I always have. My eyes were blue in New York because I was being controlled by the Chitauri. Why am I even bothering to tell you, you pathetic mortal? Your whims are annoying at best._

_I do so hope if you decide to write back then you will at least be somewhat sober. At least sober enough to spell, ‘said.’ If you’re going to insult me at least spell it right the first time. Are you seriously stuck on the window? I was smashed by that green monstrosity, hulk, and you don’t see me whining about it. Grow up a little._

_Loki_

Tony easily read the short calligraphy. He almost smirked as he imagined Loki sitting in his cell, mad, writing out this letter. He disliked being called pathetic but he had actually got his question answered. The Chitauri controlled him. His boredom momentarily forgotten he grabbed a pen and started to write. He had no spelling mistakes this time but he made sure his writing was hard to read. He had to get his laughs somewhere. Maybe he should become the God of Mischief. He continued to write.

Finished he handed his letter to Thor who surprisingly enough hadn’t left. He was grateful even though now he would have to replenish his food supply. “Thank you man of iron.” Thor said as he took the letter. He disappeared with a crack before Tony could ask what he was thanking him for. He settled back down to finish Batman not acknowledging the fact that his attention was focused towards a certain Asgardian prisoner and when he’d get a response.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading. I hope you liked it. Please leave kudos if you want me to continue. I'm not entirely sure where I want this to go so it should be a fun ride.


End file.
